5 Reasons to Hate Kid Rock

While I admit to moderately enjoying Limp Bizkit, one "rapcore" artist I cannot stand for the life of me is that shitcake waste of sodding space Kid-fucking-Rock. I loathe that little redneck so much it's almost indescribable.
But hey, let's try and put it into words, huh?

1. He owned a midget who liked to pile drive children.
2. He wrote a whole fucking chorus spouting gibberish. "Damn-damn-diggy-boom-bah-wiggy-wiggy" does not make a good song. EVER.
3. He rhymed "Things" with "things" in his latest single
4. Half of his band look like they're all brother, sister, mother and father at the same time.
5. He's Kid fucking Rock.

Heard enough? Good. You heard it here first.

Tipper Rocks... I Think.

You're talking to someone who really understands rock music.

-Tipper Gore

Wait, what?
Fuck that, I can't top that.

I've apparently been tagged.

I've been tagged by Shiv's Brain to do this viral blogging thingy. Having said that, I'll tag the blogs here, but I have no doubt whatsoever that they'd rip my head off for doing such a thing.

So basically, here is a list of the different blogs that have linked to each other, getting to mine. Then I'll send up some links of my own. Enjoy.

1. The Strategist Note Book
2. The Classy Life
3. Agenc Was Here
4. When Life Becomes a Book
5. The Haven

1. The FireWalker
2. crystrad
3. nadnuts
4. ThomasWelcome
5. Maitri

1. Dhanosh
2. Marketing Myself
3. Brawny Hunk
4. Motorparasi
5. Nicksplat

1. Annette
2. Super Hero Extraordinare
3. Everyday should be Christmas
4. The Gadget Guru tech
5. Available Light

1. Dad’s Dish
2. What Goes Under the Sun
3. One Quart Low
4. Stephan Miller
5. Mental Poo

1. Search for Blogging
2. Renatodoxaguia
3. Angel Baby
4. The Sleeping Turtle Art Gallery
5. Hanna

1. JollyJo
2. Olga the traveling bra
3. Concept is addict
4. Postarelibero
5. Nokhathai

1. Momreviews
2. Into the Rabbit Hole
3. Smile! Tomorrow could be a lot worse!
4. Wicked Whispers
5. Anand’s blog

1. A Mind Boiling Over
2. Discorax’s House of Woot
3. Blogging from the Bog
4. Shiv’s Brain
5. Secret Spiritual Dance

1. Jay's Art & words
2. Meryine's Spandomism
3. Clinically Clueless
4. Bipolar Swirl
5. How Is Bradley?

1. Mark R's Chernobyl Blog
2. You Are Not Special: El Sid's Blog
   
3. Erin's Blog
   
4. Taming Entertainment
   
5. Molly's Blog
   

Yar.

I can haz applause?

Three hours and an idea is what it took to finally be able to pull this off.


By no means is it Rembrandt, but I'm happy, as it marks my first completely digital painting.

From the art gallery: legends of rock.

Here are a few recent pieces I've created with my old chum Photoshop CS3. Enjoy.

Jaco Pastorius

Alice CooperRobert Plant

Music: My Religion, My Drug.

I have spent several weeks where I incessantly devoted every waking minute of my spare time to deep reflection and proactive meditation upon the role music plays in my life and spirituality. The effects of this time of thought have manifested themselves both physically and mentally; on Friday I had a friend ask me why I have been so 'down' over the past few weeks.
After two weeks of intensive self-conversation and deliberation, I have uncovered the role that music has on myself. While I cannot expect anybody else to share my point of view, I thought I'd share my viewpoints with you.

Over these past two weeks, I have mostly been listening to dark-ambient artist Lustmord. His work is exceptionally thought-provoking and has aided me in my search for the meaning and purpose of musical endeavors. Those of you who know me well will already know that music plays an exceptionally important part in my life. I believe that it can cleanse the mind, provide solace and companionship, and even carry a profound message to those who listen to it.
I myself feel a profound physical effect whenever I listen to certain types of music. These would typically fall into the "art-rock" or "avant-garde" genres. A good example would be the work of rock-band Tool, especially their album Lateralus. The complex drumming bases itself on geometric precision and structure, invoking a sort of ritual which enables the listener to further open their consciousness and receive the message that is being transmitted through the combinations of overlapping time signatures and rhythm. The songs on this album hold a significant spiritual message, and promote a feeling of peace and complacency within the listener.
Lustmord, mentioned earlier, tends to slip into the darker domains of the human psyche. The song that I'm listening to at the moment, Black Star, consists of minimalist cries; which sound as if they're perpetuated by some sort of Tibetan horn. This constant drone is occasionally broken up by primitive, animalistic screams. The extensive use of ultra-sound also provokes a deep feeling of unease and worry in the listener. Lustmord is exceptionally adept at exploiting the different reactions and stimuli the brain has when faced with such an onslaught of sound, hence the reason his work has been the primary source of inspiration for my conceptions.
A special mention should also go to the Japanese group Acid Mothers Temple who have dedicated their work to taking the listener on a journey. It was founding member Kawabata Makoto's words that first inspired me to study the role and purpose of music:

"Music, for me, is neither something that I create, nor a form of self-expression. All kinds of sounds exist everywhere around us, and my performances solely consist of picking up these sounds, like a radio tuner, and playing them so that people can hear them."

He is of course right. Music is just sound. But how does it have such a profound effect on people? Music has influenced whole generations; people have fought to it, fucked to it, played to it... Music makes your heart race, music is there when God is not. Find not solace in an imaginary higher power. Embrace that which is there, that which you can see, hear and feel.
Oh, how I envy those people with synesthesia. To be able to see the music for what it is would be... tantric.

Music; my religion, my drug. You've saved my mind and body on oh, so many occasions. I surrender myself to you.

Music Survey.

Ultimate Music Survey
Favorites
What is your favorite genre of music?:	I don't have one. I listen to rap, rock, metal, noise, sludge, psychedelica, prog, jazz, funk... all of it 'cept Pop.
Why?:	Music is my drug. I think that it's best to have an eclectic taste in music, just for the fact that it helps deepen your cultural experience.
Name your favorite band(s):	At the moment? Rush, Frank Zappa, Bardo Pond, Pearl Jam, Beastie Boys, The Doors
Name your favorite solo artist(s):	Jim Morrison, Kaki King, John Butler, Sabac Red
What is your favorite album?:	That's a hard one. I'd say it's probably "Joe's Garage Part I" by Frank Zappa. Or maybe Rush's debut album.
What is your favorite album cover?:	"Lateralus" by Tool. Great cover art.
Name your favorite song(s):	"The Ghost Song" - Jim Morrison, "Tantric Porno" - Bardo Pond, "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee" - Frank Zappa, "Reflection" - Tool, "Jeremy" - Pearl Jam
Favorite CD you own:	"Ten" by Pearl Jam.
Favorite song on your computer:	Far too many to count.
Favorite song you DON'T have:	"The Days" by Mike V and the Rats.
Favorite lyrics:	"Awake, shake dreams from your hair my pretty child, my sweet one" - The Ghost Song by the Doors
Favorite vocalist:	Demetrio Stratos
Favorite guitarist:	Either Kaki King or John Butler
Favorite bassist:	Jaco Pastorius or Geddy Lee
Favorite drummer:	Neil Peart
Favorite instrumentalist (any instrument not mentioned above):	Patrizio Fariselli
Favorite classical / jazz composer:	Beethoven
Favorite rapper:	Necro
Favorite theatrical score:	Star Wars ;)
Favorite of anything not mentioned:	I think that the Cowboy Bebop soundtrack deserves special mention.
The bad stuff
What's your least favorite genre of music?:	Pop Music. It's overcommercialized garbage.
Who's your least favorite band?:	Queens of the Stoneage
Who's your least favorite solo artist?:	Name any pop singer.
Who do you think is the most annoying musician?:	Pete fucking Doherty. Or maybe Josh Homme.
If you could shoot any "artist" or "band", who would it be?:	Pete goddamn Doherty. The talentless little shit that he is.
Who do you think is the least talented?:	Need I repeat again?
Least favorite song:	Far too many of them to name.
Most annoying song:	The Crazy Frog theme tune.
Most repetative song:	Ugh.
Last song to be stuck in your head:	"Tantric Porno" by Bardo Pond. Though that's not a bad thing.
Did this survey just get that song stuck in your head again? (sorry):	...no.
Worst band that used to be good?:	Green Day.
A good band that used to suck?:	John Lennon. He's not a band, but I hate the Beatles.
Your musical backgroun
What was the first music you remember listening to?:	Alice Cooper when I was but a mite.
What type of music do your parents listen to?:	Dad listens to rock and cock rock, mum listens to pop and indie.
Do you play any musical instruments, or sing? If so, elaborate.:	Yeah, I play the bass guitar and some electric guitar. I also sing, just not very well.
Do you take lessons for instruments or voice? If so, for how long?:	Nope, in the words of Matt Berry... "I'M SELF TAUUUUGHT!"
Do you plan to / have you gone to college for music?:	Nope.
Who are your musical inspirations?:	The bands that I listen to. Every single one of them.
Who was your first favorite band or artist?:	Korn.
Who is your most recent favorite band or artist?:	Bardo Pond.
What styles of music are you interested in learning about?:	I'd be interested in learning about traditional oriental music, especially that of Japan. I'd love to learn to play the Zither.
What styles of music do you already know a lot about?:	Rock and metal, mostly. Kind of sad.
Do you know much about musical theory? If not, would you like to?:	No. I'd love to learn as much as I can, though.
If you take lessons, do you like your teacher(s)?:	I used to take lessons but that was a school thing.
How many different music teachers do you have, or have you had?:	Three different music teachers.
This or that
Classical or jazz?:	Jazz
Classic rock or modern rock?:	Classic rock.
Rock or Rap?:	Both.
Emo or Punk?:	Punk. Emo is for faggy mungers.
Funk or Blues?:	Funk.
Pink Floyd or Led Zeppelin?:	Zep. Floyd bore me.
Bob Marley or Michael Franti?:	Dunno who Franti is.
Coldplay or Radiohead?:	Neither.
Guster or Dispatch?:	Who?
John Mayer or Jack Johnson?:	John Mayer.
Eminem or 50 Cent?:	Both. Dead.
Britney Spears or Christina Aguilera?:	See above answer.
Backstreet Boys or N'SYNC?:	And again.
The Beatles or the Rolling Stones?:	Neither
Beethoven or Mozart?:	Beethoven
Rachmaninoff or Debussy?:	Rachmaninoff.
Duke Ellington or Count Basie?:	Who?
Electric or acoustic?:	Acoustic.
Mandolin or ukulele?:	Mandolin.
Saxophone or trumpet?:	Saxophone.
Miscelaneous
Why do you like music?:	That's kind of a stupid question. Music helps me feel better, influences my life. It's a major part of my spirituality.
When you're angry, what type of music do you listen to?:	Rock. Sometimes funk.
Has music ever made you cry? When?:	No. It's come close though. I seem to remember feeling fucking teary at the end of The Abyss, when the alien appears to Ed Harris. And that was because the world is so shit
Has music ever made you laugh? When?:	Frank Zappa, that's all I can say.
Do you like local music?:	Well, there's pretty much NO local music here in Béziers.
What is the best show you have ever been to?:	Ehn.
Have you ever played in any shows?:	When I was very, very small, I sang something or other at a music festival.
If so, what type of music was it?:	N/A
Do you enjoy being on stage?:	Never been on.
Do you like to sing, even if you don't consider yourself a singer?:	Yeah, singing is a great way to let out all that frustration.
If you could meet any musician and ask them for advice, who would it be?:	Jaco Pastorius. But he's dead.
If you could just chill with any musician, who would it be?:	Dweezil Zappa, he seems like a chilled out guy.
What instrument that you don't play now would you like to learn next?:	The Zither, the sax, the mandolin.
Do you like foreign types of music? If so, what types?:	Italian prog, J-rock and general world music.
Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site

Music is my drug, baby... Maybe a little beer, too.

First let it be known that I am not, nor ever will, be going to my school wank-a-thon, the school 'prom'. A bunch of odious little shits standing in a room together swaying to shit music, and not a bottle of booze in sight. Damn!
Yes, this is the "fête du lycée". They've really been pushing it on us all this year. Amusingly enough, entry is tied in to their latest attempt to stop everybody from smoking outside the school at recess. They gave out these shitty little badges a few days ago, which could only be gotten by staying inside the school grounds at recess. This badge is also needed if you want to get into the school prom on Saturday.

As this school year inevitably draws to a close, my mind cannot help but go back to arguably the best night out I've had this year, if not my adolescence. La Grande Soirée Au Korri. We invited pretty much everybody in our class; me, Liam, Florian, Jean-Marie, Constance, Lauriane and various friends of theirs. Louis and his mates also turned up.
Anyway, I met up with Liam and Jean-Marie in the early afternoon. They decided to buy booze so we didn't get bored. See, the great thing about France is that you can buy alcohol from the age of 16, unlike in the UK or US. We drank and played cards for a while. JM got very, very ill indeed as he'd drunk at least 4 beers and a whole bottle of Muscat. He spent a whole hour being sick outside, much to the amusement of myself and passers-by.
We eventually got to the Korri, and people started coming. We played several card games, drank... and after that it becomes a little hazy.
I know I smacked Louis for no reason whatsoever. I also broke a couple of glasses stumbling about. I also remember getting back home and being violently sick all over the floor.

Ah... These are the best days of our lives.

Why Overcomplicate?

After returning from the restaurant last night, I was lying in bed and musing over the different concepts of Love in modern society, and I fell upon a somewhat interesting conclusion:
Love does not exist anymore. Allow me to explain, if you will.

When somebody has love for their country, we call it patriotism. When somebody loves themselves, we call it egoism. When somebody loves another, it is lust.

The list goes on and on, but it strikes me as strange that nowadays we use the word 'love' to describe a deep liking for something. "I love that TV series" does not mean we are physically or emotionally attracted to it; it just means we enjoy watching it. Strange, no?
In French, the concept is simplified. "Aimer" means to love someone, "Adorer" means to like someone or something. "Je t'aime" and "Je t'adore" have two completely different connotations, depending on your relationship with the person. The former is used to show romantic feelings for the subject, and the latter is used to show amicality.

Truely, English is a strange language...

I can haz good results, plz?

Well, yesterday I passed my mock oral exams. Exams are bad enough, but always made worse when they're in a foreign language. I've been living in France for a good four years now, but I'm not entirely fluent, so as you can imagine; I went in feeling slightly overwhelmed.
The worst part was the sheer amount of texts we had to memorize. There were about thirty of them, and we all had to speak for ten minutes about one of them. Some girl in my class faked a panic attack to get out of it. We had all heard horror stories about how bad it was, so I was stressing out.
I went in there and delivered my little commentary, speaking for fifteen minutes, though it felt more like five. The judge then asked me a few questions, and told me I'd done really well.

Yay me.

My Brush with the 419 Scammers, part one

Update: For some reason this didn't appear with the other scambait post. Oh, well.
---
419 Scammers are those annoying little bastards who somehow get through your spam filters to send you an email saying they have large sums of money to give to you, if only you provide them with your bank details, give them the keys to your car and let them stay at your house.
Most 419ers are from Nigeria, but now there seems to be a trend for them impersonating fundamentalist christians. The typical format of these emails is as such:

Dear Brother/Sister in Christ

yadda yadda yadda, I/someone I know is terribly ill/died and I have decided to donate all of the money I have to another God-fearing christian. Therefore I'll need your full name and address so that I may send the money

God Bless!
Generic Caucasian Name.

They may sometimes include a photo in order to supposedly further the claim that this is genuine.
I've always found amusement reading stories of Scambaiters. These guys really pull out all the stops to con the conmen: they'll reply to these messages impersonating another God fearing Christian and basically try to waste as much of the scammer's time as possible. It's from reading these letters that you get a sense of just how desperate these people are, and will sometimes do literally anything to get money. This includes getting a painful tattoo that insults their sexuality, to getting them to really send you money. Scambaiting can be dangerous though, as many scambaiters have been killed meeting with these people. Therefore there are some rules that you should try and follow to ensure your safety:

1. N ever give out personal details. If you feel like scambaiting, invent yourself a new name, a new life-story and a new address. You don't want these people finding out where you live because they are criminals. Most false names are a moniker/mix-up of various names from popular culture. You'll get the idea when you read my correspondances below.
2. Never arrange to meet these people.

While it was always fun to read these scambaiting stories, I never assumed I myself would be the target of a scam, until I received a letter from one. My first instinct was to delete it straight away, but I thought why not have some fun here? Thus began my journey.

As I said, I recieved this email from someone claiming to be Mrs Susan Morgan:

SUBJECT: Donation from Mrs. Susan Morgan

From Mrs Susan Morgan
N [38 Rue Des Martyrs Cocody
Abidjan,Cote d'Ivoire

ATTN:
DEAREST ONE OF GOD

I am the above named person from Kuwait. I am married to Mr.Abram Morgan, who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2004. We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Before his death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $2. 5 Million (Two Million Five Hundred U.S. Dollars) in the bank here in Abidjan in suspense account.

Presently, the fund is still with the bank. Recently, my Doctor told me that i have serious sickness which is cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a church or individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want a church that will use this fund for orphanages, widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavour that the house of God is maintained.

The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don’t want my husband’s efforts to be used by unbelievers. I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence i know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the Lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.

I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband’s relatives is around me always I don't want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the bank here in Abidjan. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the Lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.

Contact me on the above e-mail address for more information’s, any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church or individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your
reply.
Remain blessed in the Lord.
Yours in Christ,
Mrs susan morgan

This is of course, a perfect example of your typical scambaiting letter. While the ploy is mind-bendingly transparent, you need to remember that there are plenty of idiots who actually fall for things like this. I decided to play along and sent the following reply:

SUBJECT: RE: Donation from Sally Morgan

Dear Mrs. Morgan,

I am interested in your offer, and I know that the will of God is acting through you by donating this money to a worthy cause. However, I am wondering what the transaction will entail. I myself have just moved house and am waiting for a new bank account, as I had to leave the country quite hastily due to unforseen circumstances.

Please reply soon entailing the details of said transaction, so that I may pray and come to a conclusion.

God bless,
Jean Michel Jarre

Yes, that's right, I posed as a God-fearing Bible-basher. Scammers are usually reassured if you have something in common with them. They're obviously not going to reply if you say "Yes, I'm a satanist, now give me all of your money." I also decided to leave in a bit of intrigue which will further along my story and play out for humour's sake. Why have I had to leave the country? Don't worry, it'll all be explained. Also, note the name I picke out for myself; Jean-Michel Jarre. JMJ is of course a supposedly famous French electronica artist. The thing is, I wanted to pick out a name that wasn't too obviously false, and I doubt people in the Côte D'Ivoire have heard of him. Some scammers also provide a photo of themselves, or rather of George Clooney or Brad Pitt, and the scammers don't catch on. This is more likely to work with scammers from Nigeria though.
So I waited for the reply, which came when I woke up the next morning:

Dearest In Christ ,

Greetings to you in the mighty name of our Lord Jesus Christ, i am very happy for your quick response to my mail, well i am not afriad of the death because i knows where i am heading to, my only problem is to see the desire of my late husband come to accomplishment now that i am alive, so dearly one in Christ i want you to assure me that you will never let the trust i have in you down, that you will use the fund accondingly to the will of the Almighty God.

I know you are surprise in receiving this letter, but as a servant of the living God, you should know that our ways is not his ways, my Bible tells me that God works in many ways and all things works out for good to them that believed in Christ Jesus, all i need from you is to assure me that you will never betray the trust i am trying to entrust in your hand for the work of God, you may asked me how i got across your email, the bilbe said that who is me is greater than who of the world, the Holy Spirit that leads me to you will never let us down only if you can beleive with faith.

Please, I want you to understand that this benevolence is in fulfilment of the desire and decision of my late husband which I am persuaded to actualize,this fund is desiginated for humanitarian and Charity services with special emphasis, which must be disbursed with every appropriation, accountability and prudence to the glory of God.

Meanwhile,i could have donate this money here in my country,but the reason is that before the death of my late beloved husband he warned me not to let his relatives know about this money because they are unbleilvers ( muslim) and he don't want an atom of this money to be use in anything Islamic,and i don't intend to disobey him even in death.

I will want you to send to me your full names and address to enable me swear an affidavit on oath on your behalf that will officially and legally approve you as the new beneficiary to this fund, so that even if i am no more, your claim to the fund will not be in doubt. I will be sending you the certificate of deposit of this fund immediately after the affidavit is ready.

I will want you to kindly be fast on your arrangement on how the fund will be transfered to you before the fall of the crises in Ivory Coast, since the political affair has affected their economy. Infact, the saints have been fasting and praying for peace for the country since the attacked of the rebels.

Ensure you reply this letter and the needed information immediately for the proccess of this transaction on your behalf.

Most Important: I will like this to be so confidential and sincerelity, also bear in mind that can not call you on phone, all our comminucation will be via-email because of my late husband relatives.

Thanks and may God bless us all.
Sister Susan Morgan.

So she further explains her dilemma; her dead husband's family are interfering, oh noes! Please note the terrible spelling mistakes. Oh, she also provided a heart-wrenching photo of her and her late husband to further credibility:

I personally don't know where the scammers get these photos from, but you can rest assured they're not real.
I sent the following reply straight away. I really got carried away with this, as you can see:

Sister in Christ,

I prayed long and hard last night to receive divine enlightenment as to how I should act. You see, the past few years have not been easy for me to say the least.
The Lord blessed me with a family in early 2003 as I married my long-time partner Margaret Bundy. Over the next two years we were provided with two little children Bud and Kelly. Alas, I found out that my wife was a sinner, and had been having relations with another man.
I prayed long and hard to the Lord to find out what to do, and He came down and told me to forgive her. The next day her car was found crushed up against a wall, the police said that a cable or something had been cut. I was understandabily devastated and fell into a long spiral of depression, marked by alcoholism and terrible sin.
I regained my faith, only to find that the police had me under suspicion for my wife's death; something which I did not do. Therefore I was obligated to leave the country and move to France, where I adopted the name Jean-Michel Jarre to spare myself from any international trouble.
So you see, I am in the process of trying to find a house at the moment; The deal has gone through on a lovely little villa in the alps, near Chamonix, but I am waiting for the paperwork to be finalized. When it is all through, I will be able to send you my address and contact details.
I apologize if this is not immediately suitable for you, as I see that you are having problems with your husband's relatives. Nevertheless, if it is the will of the Lord, they shall not make any actions to try and prevent your generous donation.

Also, my Church, the Church of The Latter Day Saint Juan Kerr has policies about communicating with members of other churches. I would like to inquire as to which Church you are part of, in order to set their minds at ease.

Peace be with you!

Jean-Michel Jarre
----
". . . it is hard for thee to rub against these pricks."
Leviticus XXI, v3

As you guessed, the bible quote is completely made-up. Again, I played on the popular culture game, with my "family" history, citing the Bundy family from Married...with Children as my family. Also, I explained why I had to leave the country, as my late wife's brakes apparently failed. Oh noes! It can also be evidenced in my Church's name of Juan Kerr (Wanker).
Opening up to the scammers can make them all the more convinced that you're an idiot ready to believe anything.
Anyways, the scammer in question made me sweat it out for a couple of days. I felt like actually emailing them to say that I'd had some Godly vision in the night that they were in great suffering, but decided against it. Such strategies should really only be used towards the end of a scambait, when you want to keep on trying to waste their time. Two days later, I recieved this email

Dear Jean-Michel Jarre,

Greetings to you,i'm sorry for the condition that your wife have put you into but i believe that God's time is the best, i will want you to be fast in any of your arrangements toward this divine task because i will like to be alive and see the desire of my late husband been accomplished through you.

May God bless you and your family.

Sister Susan

Yes, the silly son of a bitch bought it. I decided to wait a week or so before I replied to the email. This was for a few reasons, the first to maintain a sense of realism. You need them to believe that you're telling the truth. Another reason was to buy some time to come up with a decent plotline, and also to make them sweat.

My Brush with the 419 Scammers, part two

So, I was in the middle of telling you how I decided to fuck around a 419 scammer and basically waste as much of their time as possible. This is the end to the story, hope you all enjoy it.

Six days after recieving the final email of yesterday's post, I sent the following reply:

Sister in Christ,

I apologize for my late reply, I have been trying to finalize the deal on the house. Unfortunately the previous owner is being exceptionally stubborn, he himself being a member of another Church.
I expect the deal to be completed within the next two days, although there is a more pressing matter that I must discuss with you.

I have been speaking with my minister, the Most High Priest of Juan Kerr, Rupert Murdoch. He has informed me of a piece of scripture written by the Saint Juan Kerr himself, which states that Church members may not undergo transactions with members of other Churches. The only way that I would be able to undergo the transaction with you, would be if you converted to our Church. Being a God fearing servant of the Lord yourself, I am sure you can understand the need to adhere to one's own personal convictions. Please consider converting to our faith, I'm sure you will find it most satisfactory.
I will be more than happy to provide any information you may seek.

Blessed Be,
Jean Michel-Jarre

"Take this life out of me so that I may be clean again"
Morgantellers, XXI, 50

For those of you not in the know, Morganteller is the name of an abortion clinic. Lowbrow, I know.
A few days later, I got the following reply:

Dearest in christ Jean Michel

Greetings once again in the name of God, i also appologise for my late respond to your mail, please i realy want you to understand my present condition and also you have to believe your fellow christian believer of the same God, and know that this is directed by him,

Please dear i want you to be fast in any of your arrangement and send me your full informations and address for the affidafit to be ready before my surgery operation which is fast approaching according to my doctor,

Remains Bless

Susan Morgan

I sensed that the time to try and wrap this up was coming to an end. As I stated before, I'm inexperienced when it comes to scambaits, but my main objective here was to keep it as humorous as possible. While I wanted to waste this guy's time as much as possible, I didn't necessarily want to waste mine. I decided to kill off Jean Michel Jarre. His music was crap anyway.

Dear Mrs. Morgan,

I am a close friend of Mr. Jarre, speaking on his behalf.
I regret to inform you that yesterday Mr. Jarre was struck by a van while trying to cross the road in Chamonix. As a result, he is now in hospital fighting for his life due to severe internal and external injuries.
As such, I feel obliged to inform you that should the worst happen (God forbid), that I am to leave you or your relatives his newly acquired house in Chamonix, France. As he said: "It is what God would want".

Please pray for him,
Father Jason Lee,
Minister, Church of The Latter Day Saint Juan Kerr

About a day later, I recieved a reply:

Dearest One of God

How are you this time, my dearest one i was shucked this mornig when i hear of your incidence, how is it, please never you loose faith, cope up trust and submit every things in Gods hand to heal you and give you consolation and open your heart and let him in because is him that directs ones step,
Remember to look upon him in times of danger, Which i am also doing im my own condition,
i appologise for my late reply it is because of my health which is disturbing me much and my surgery operation is fast approching which i will want the fund to be transfered to you before then,
Please on your better day but be fast and send me your requested information for the affidavit on oath for your prove as the right new beneficiary of the fund,remember after the affidavit is ready i will be sending it to you together with the contact of the bank where the fund is deposited for the immidiate transfer,

I Will Also Pray For You

Sister Susan Morgan

I consulted various people as to what to do next, when I hit a critical flaw in my plan: I hadn't baited safely. I'd used my personal email for a scambait. D'oh! It was time to kill him off.
I sent the following email from a fake address.

Dear Mrs. Morgan,

I apologize for contacting you on this email address. We have had a minor correspondence concerning our Brother in Christ, Jean-Michel Jarre who is currently fighting for his life in hospital after suffering a major injury after being hit by a truck.
His current condition is critical, the doctors say that the next 24 hours will decide whether he lives or dies.
As I stated in my original correspondence to you, Brother Jarre has stated that he would like his recently acquired house in Chamonix to be given to you or your relatives in any way you see fit, due to his feeling of obligation to help a fellow Christian in the hard times that you face.
I will update you on his situation within the next twenty-four to forty-eight hours, and depending on what happens, we can further negotiate a settlement.

I pray for your strength and hope that he, the most holy Juan Kerr help you through these troubled times.

Yours sincerely,
Father Jason Lee
Minister of Juan Kerr

I received a nice prompt reply the next day:

Dearest One of God,

What a strange mith?, accident, please how is him right now i hope he is fine, please dear help me to encourage and console him in a good manner, tell him to remember that God is still existing that God cares for his people in times of dungeon never to loose hope because God has the final say.

Upon his assurances to me to handle this fund as my late husband wishes while My spirit directed me to him, now what should i do now because i will want the fund to be transfered to his account before my going to my surgery operation that is coming up next week,

Extend my greetings to him.

Remains Bless

Sister Susan Morgan

To which I replied:

Dear Mrs. Morgan,

It is with great sadness that I must inform you that as of 8.37AM French Time, our Brother-In-God Jean-Michel Jarre passed away due to severe complications brought on by his extensive injuries. He passed away peacefully, leaving a house and a great deal of money.
Before passing away, he repented before our lord God and the holy saint Juan Kerr, giving some light into the mysterious death of his late wife Peggy Bundy several weeks before his abrupt move to France.
Due to the fact that he perceives his life to have been sinful, I have received a copy of his last will and testament, an article of which could be of significant interest to you:

Article 7.
Upon my death, I wish to commit the ultimate act of Christian repentance by donating all of my money and personal properties to major charity organizations around the world, so that I may help those who are in need. Any money I own should be given to a charity of the executor's choice, as long as it is disposed of in said methods.

I therefore believe that it would be in your best interest to donate the sum of money you intended to give to Mr. Jarre to one or multiple charity organizations, so that you may do the charitable thing and help other God-fearing Christians.
We here at the Church of The Latter Day Saint Juan Kerr are all deeply saddened by the loss of Mr. Jarre, especially considering his generous donations to our cause in converting those who have lost their way.

On behalf of everbody here at the Church, I wish you good health. May you live long and prosper!

Yours sincerely,
Father Jason Lee,
Minister of Juan Kerr

The scammer in question was now probably thinking 'shit' to themselves. Nevertheless, they tried to squeeze their way around the situation.

Dearest one

Heavenly Greeting to you and all the members of your churches, dearest i truely regrets the great lost of Jean-Michel Jarre may his soul rest in peace, i also thanks all the good hands that contributed in taking cares of him through his hospitalize, despite all his promises in helping me fulfiling my husband promises over all the children of God,

Dearest one i am realy confused that i dont no what to do again, But you in a church organisation i want you to cary on this charity donation for all the membrs of your churches on behalf of my lovely late Jean-Michel Jarre, because i can see that you are sounding like a good sameritan, if so bring me your full in formation for an affidavit on aoth on your behalf in the federal ministry of justice so that no one will have acces to this fund accept you even if i am no more.

Remains Bless

Sister Susan Morgan

I decided it was time to end it once and for all and sent the final email:

Dear Mrs. Morgan,

I'm afraid that at this current moment in time, our Church is unable to recieve any donations, as several high-ranking members, including the Saint Juan Kerr himself, are being investigated for fraud by international law enforcement agencies. While the charges are ultimately false (for I have faith), we cannot accept money at this point in time.
However, I do know of a close friend who is part of another church, who may be interested in your most generous donation. His email is fatherbub@yahoo.com, I hope you are able to contact him.

I'm afraid that this may very well be our last correspondence, Mrs. Morgan, as the most-high Saint Juan Kerr has ordered all church members to dispose of their computers, as an act of defiance against the satanic forces that conspire against us.

On behalf of us all here at the church, we wish you good health and a speedy recovery.

Be blessed,
Father Jason Lee,
Minister of Juan Kerr



So there you have it; how I beat the 419 scammers. Enjoy.

I need some love.

I'm runnin' here
I'm runnin' there
I'm lookin' for a girl
'Cause there's nothin' I need
There's nothin' I want more
In the whole wide world

Well, I need it quick
And I need it now
Before I start to fade away
That's why I'm searchin'
That's why I'm lookin'
Each and ev'ry day

Oo, I need some love
I said I need some love!
Oo yes, I need some love
This feelin' I can't rise above
Yeah, yeah!

Well I been hustlin' here,
I been hustlin' there
I been searchin' for about a week
And I started feelin'
This strange sensation
My knees are startin' gettin' weak

Well I need what keeps
A young man alive,
I'm sayin' I need it now
I'm gonna get the message
Across to you
Someway, somehow

Oo, I need some love
I said I need some love!
Oo yes, I need some love
This feelin' I can't rise above
Oo, yeah yeah!

"Need some love" by Rush

At the moment, nothing better describes my current state of mind. I've had a very, very tough week; found out some difficult things (I won't go into them on here) about family. My current relationship situation has been sorted, in the sense that I am no longer confused. But that's not necessarily a good thing.
My emotions seem to be all over the place at the moment, I could be happy one minute and horribly down the next. While this may seem serious, I have reason to believe it's nothing more than an elevated sort of teenage angst; possible something to do with the fact that I'm reaching the end of puberty. Nevertheless, my current state of mind is becoming evident, as I have had several people come up to me more than once this week asking me what is wrong.
I've also been greatly disappointed by my peers; due to their adherence to amazingly clichéd stereotypes concerning a friendship between myself and a girl. I am disappointed that in this day and age, people are still supposed to adhere to the principle whereupon if you go out of your way to be nice to someone of the opposite sex, you are driven by sexual desire only. This is not the case, regardless of my feelings towards this female in particular.
Sometimes this world gets me down oh, so terribly. It seems my only escape is through listening to music; the optimistic lyrics remind me that somewhere, at some time, somebody was feeling optimistic enough to write these infectiously happy songs, and in a way it makes me feel somewhat better. Perhaps I'm just clinging to the hope that I can feel that damn happy one day, too.
I have a feeling that somehow things will work out for themselves, I have a sincere feeling of approaching finality. Before people start worrying, I am not, repeat NOT suicidal. Quite on the contrary. I'm simply waiting to get out of school so that I can take a more proactive stance in the direction of my life. I've still got so much life to life and I intend to live it to the fullest. Taking your own life is the easy way out, and I believe it's better to show people that you can make something out of yourself.
So for now I'll just sit in front of my computer, listen to Rush and write crap poetry.

A bientôt.

I'm a cynic, I'm a weirdo.

Well, I signed up for that "bloggers unite" thing the day before it was supposed to happen, then changed my mind at the last second.
For those of you not in the know, this "bloggers unite" was an event that took place on the 15th of May, where bloggers throughout the world blog in support of human rights.
While it all sounds fine and dandy, I ultimately decided against it. Why?
Well, in the words of Shiv; I'm a cynic. And that's not an insult.
First of all, I don't actually believe that blogging has the power to change anything politically. I think that compared to direct action, blogging is an act born out of apathy. Many people would rather blog than get out in the streets and protest; because they're less likely to be arrested, and they seem to have that "I don't want to cause trouble" mentality. But whatever. At the end of the day, people can do whatever they want, I'm not here to tell anyone what they should or shouldn't do politically.
I'm here to simply address the fact that yes; I'm a cynic. I'm proud of this, because it means I can see the world for what it really is: a garbage dump that we're continually adding to.

Ehn. I need a girlfriend.

Give me my women!

Before you jump down my throat telling me that the post title is "misogynistic", this post is meant for entertainment purposes only.
I recently saw this advert on the TV the other day for the new Axe/Lynx body spray '3'.



What a marketing ploy, eh people? Buy two deodorants and... wait for it... you'll combine them into ONE FUCKING DEODORANT! Holy fucking shit!
So, I bought the two deodorants and sprayed them on. Confident, I walked out into the street, expecting hordes of attractive women to fling themselves at me like dying fish. Did they?
Did they buggery. Axe, you bastards! I want my sense of commercial innocence back! Now I view all commercials with a cynical eye.
So what did I do? Well, I recently heard about a story involving a woman trying to sue Impulse body spray under grounds of false advertising, upon which they sent her a bouquet of flowers. Nice. So I wrote the following letter to Axe body spray:

Dear Sir/Madam (probably not Madam though),
I recently viewed an advertisement on the television for your new fragrance Axe '3'. The advert entails a young man putting on two bodysprays at once and being inondated by attractive women trying to get off with him.
I subsequently went out to buy my house. Doing this I spent all ten minutes of 'social time' my mother lets me spend out of the house per week, and was dissatisfied when I applied the deodorant in the way displayed in the commercial, only to find that women were not throwing themselves at my feet.
Where are the chicks?

Yours Sincerely,
A concerned customer

I decided not to send it. If Axe did decide to recompensate me, I doubt that it would be in women. Apparently shipping women across the globe for dissatisfied customers is illegal. Either that or they owe me a truckload of mail order brides.


=P

Mr. Morrison, I owe you thanks

Christ, I think I may have found a literary hero. The late, great Jim Morrison. Thanks to him, I've managed to find endless inspiration and for the first time in years I've been able to fully express myself through poetry.

Endless Light

Power is a thing best left unfettered.
I tell you this to save your soul,
Not to sell it.
Talk to me girl,
Tell me of pretty, dreamlike things,
Things best forgotten as we watch the sun set,
Together we rise, estranged we fall.

Some things are best left unsaid,
A rush of blood to the head
Makes me forget those times we shared.
Left open in the blistering sun
So you can rummage in my bowels
Searching, still searching
For that special part of me.

What makes me whole?
You? Him? Her?
Or is it some cosmic balance,
Forever perpetuated, unsubstantiated
By our actions towards eachother.

Let us not leave in bitterness,
But joy in knowing that the endless cycle
Has been completed through words that we said
Thoughts going through my head
Lead me back to you.

New Poems

These are the first poems I've written in French. While they're separated into verses, they should be read spoken word. No translations, if you really want to know what I'm going on about, Google is your friend ;)

Le Terrassé

On a chassé ce terrassé
Sur les bords de la rivière,
jusqu'à la mer puis sous la terre
Par là, par ici, partout.

On a tué les soldats
Qui ont refusé de se battre
Étouffer les chats,
Menteurs, tout vient d'admettre.

Ne pleurait pas, ma fille
Tu as autant de chance de ne pas comprendre
Ce monde cruel, ignoble d'esprit

Le serpent se révèle,
Et les hommes qui sont faibles d'esprit
Pleurent comme des enfants.

Voici la fin, voici notre mort
Voici la voix qui poussera du vide
Il nous appelle, suivons.

On a chassé ce terrassé
Mais sans risque, le jeu n'est pas amusant
Il se retourne, il se parle
Et on disparaît


Immaculée

Connaissez-vous la bonne route ?
La route qui tord,
La route qui se tourne,
Vers votre réveil.

Connaissez-vous l'homme sage d'esprit
Et faible physiquement ?
Ecoutez-le, entendez ses mots.

Connaissez-vous le monde ?
L'avez-vous vu dans son intégralité ?

Parlez-vous les mots des anciens,
Ceux qui ont les moyens longtemps oubliés ?
En tirer les leçons afin que vous pouvez trouver votre propre chemin.

Entendez-vous la voix ?
Celui qui vient de l'ombre,
Qui la pousse à travers l'autre côté
Pour nous rendre immaculée.

Hehn...

Well, what a truly shitty night last night was.
There's kind of a very long history to this that dates back to around September-time at... you guessed it, the start of this school year.
Hun hun, where to begin? Well, it was a friend's birthday on Monday. While she may not know it (or rather, may not realize it), I consider her to be a very close friend, even though I have only known her for a short time. Thursday (today) was a bank holiday, meaning we had no school, so I asked her if she wanted to go to the local pub for a drink or two to celebrate the big 18, and she said yeah, she'd love to come. I went there with another mate and waited for a bit, she eventually showed up with her boyfriend and a friend of hers.
Things were cool for a bit, the beer was horrible though. Anyways, after a while they all went out to smoke a joint. For half a goddamn hour. Leaving me to wonder where the hell everyone was.

Fuck it, I'm socially inept from having spent five years in the middle of freakin' nowhere back in Italy, where I didn't socialize at all outside of school. Basically this has left me with an incredibly warped sense of reality; I have divided my life into two sections:

• Academic life, a world of do's and dont's where I maintain an artificial façade in order to fit in with the people around me. Anybody on the outside of this would see me as a 'normal' person by their standards. This has also leaked into my social life.
• My personal life. The real me.

The thing is, they're two majorly contrasted personalities. When I am alone in my bedroom, as I am now, I am constantly thinking, imagining, wondering. My thoughts are all jumbled up, and I find it incredibly hard to focus on one specific thing. Think of it as turning a radio dial, where you have a really bad transmission but as you turn the dial you get through garbled dialogue from certain frequencies. Well, that's more or less what's going on in my head twenty four seven, so much so that it's hard to sleep. I've started to develop a few ways to relax and steer myself towards a state of sleep and relaxation; but those are in very early stages at the moment.
One can't help but feel trapped in this button-down world. I don't fit in with anyone; I'm constantly reevaluating myself and trying to find a way to shape and mold myself to fit other people's expectations. I would bend over backwards for some people, and I have a feeling they exploit that (albeit not deliberately) for their own use.
At the moment my current state of mind verges from jubilant to philosophical to horribly depressed. I constantly have small 'epiphanies' of what I should say to people; tell them exactly what I think of them, then wake up in the morning wondering what possessed me to come up with such a ridiculous idea.
From reading this, you probably think that I'm a complete and utter mess at the moment, and to be honest you're not far off. But I can't help think there's some sort of logic hidden behind this, mainly because I like a world where every little fait can be attributed and explained to some form of rigid logic, leaving no room for deviation. Hell, as I'm typing this I'm writing without really thinking of what I'm saying. Some say that makes damn good therapy for a busy mind such as mine, so I'll continue talking because I could really do with letting it out.
Sure, I feel rejected by this girl, but also confused. I sometimes get the feeling that she's flirting with me in some way, shape or form, but since I've become so inept at telling; I can't really decipher what it means. I don't want to give out the wrong impression about her, she's one of the only people I have never had anything negative to say about. But it's all so goddamn confusing. Hell, man is a confusing animal. And that's what we are; animals. We're not special, we're not unique. We fuck, shit and gorge ourselves like all the other animals out there. Even in our perceived superiority, we share it as a common trait with other animals; the constant need to be superior, at the top of the food chain. And when we've beaten all the other species of animal, we fight within our own species. Maybe the world would be better without us.

From Beginning to End: a history of the French Popular Front

The year is 1934, five years before the outbreak of the Second World War and world politics are undergoing a drastic change. The divides between the left and right are becoming all the more apparent, and France is no exception to this great divide.
The French far-right were getting impatient with the apparent lack of progress in the government, and claimed that it was run by the French leftists, mainly the radical party. There was trouble brewing beneath the surface which erupted on the 6th of February in the form of riots instigated by supporters of the far-right. These protesters formed large groups based on the political movements they were part of. There were several main groups of protesters:

• Action Française, the forerunners in the French far-right movement. They were by far the most numerous during the protests and dedicated to restoring monarchy in France.
• La Jeunesse Patriote, strikingly similar to Mussolini and Hitler's youth movements, they boasted to have numerous important political connections.
• Francisme, an organization holding fascist ideologies.
• Le Croix de Feu, an organization composed of war veterans.

The riots came at an opportune time internationally speaking, as both Hitler and Mussolini were now in power and ready to finance the far-right if they were to attempt a coup d'etat.
All of a sudden the streets of Paris were flooded with angry protesters. The police and national guard were called out into the streets and clashed violently with the opposition.
The photo on the left shows the extension of the violence in the city. A young man throws a potato covered in razorblades at a police horse (out of shot). This was but an example of the violence occurring sporadically throughout the center of Paris; and was far from over.



In face of the recent rioting, the left began to fear for the future of the country. The right was rapidly gaining popularity. Something had to be done quickly in order to counter the rise of the right in France. The SFIO (french socialist party) had suggested that the leftist parties joined forces in the upcoming legislative elections in 1936, but the PCF (french communist party) refused to do so. After the rise of Communism in Russia, the French socialists split into two factions, the SFIO, who opposed the Comintern controlling all of the international socialist parties, and the PCF who were loyal to the Soviets. As a consequence of the split, the Comintern forbade the PCF to join forces with the other socialists. Then, a major U-turn occured and the Soviets decided it would be a better idea for the French left to join forces to oppose the far-right. The SFIO and PCF then joined up with the radicals and thus was born the Front Populaire. While they didn't share all of each-other's views on political legislations, they were able to reach a compromise where the two other parties would back whoever appeared to be the strongest, in this case the SFIO. Along came the legislative elections and Léon Blum, head of the SFIO, became the French prime minister with Daladier (a radical) as his executive. The PCF decided to stay out of it all.
This was also notably the first time where three women had participated in the government, even before women had the right to vote. Things seemed good for the left at long last.

The Front Populaire then set about to changing the workings of French society and French economy, notably by inciting workers to strike. The workers striked and took control of the factories, thus making production impossible and immobilizing the economy. The radicals were incredibly unhappy about this, as they themselves did not support the proletariat, but the small enterprises, and urged workers to go back to work.
On the 7th June 1936, the Matignon Accords were put into practice. These accords allowed

• The existence and creation of worker syndicates, most notably the CGT (Comité General du Travail)
• Business owners and the state to have official representatives
• A substantial raise in minimum wage.
• Two legal weeks of paid leave per year
• A reduction of working hours, to 40 hours per week.

The business owners were understandably outraged, as they felt that they were being made to pay their workers more for less work. This proved to be an exceptional opportunity for the far-right to leap in and exploit this feeling of betrayal.
Owners therefore reduced their investments and started to invest their Capital abroad. The reduction in working hours also meant less production and therefore a higher demand, which forced prices to go up. The radicals weren't happy with all of the social unrest, but also were quite annoyed with the government's foreign policy.
In 1936, while Hitler was secretly rebuilding the German army, a situation similar to the French situation unfolded, with the Fruente Popular winning the legislative elections in Spain. Unfortunately, things were about to take a turn for the worst, as the Spanish right reacted with a coup d'etat led by General Franco. This sparked up a civil war between the Nacionales, who were led by Franco and financed by Mussolini and Hitler, and the Republicans who were financed by Russia, and had many young communists from all over the world joining forces with them.
The radicals decided to stay out of it, as did the SFIO. The front populaire officially declared not to intervene, but were secretly shipping arms across the Pyrenees into Spain to fuel the war effort. In charge of this operation was Pierre Cot, who worked with Jean Moulin, the future head of the French resistance and a native of Béziers.
The right wing were starting to exploit the feelings of the French people, putting up posters which played on the fears of Communism in France. One of the most famous strategies employed was in the form of a call published in over three hundred newspapers across the country by the far-right:

French people!
Despite the hard lesson we have been taught over the past four months, you're still ready to believe everything will work itself out.
Nothing can work out while those who want to bring the Soviets into the country are in power.
Blum's reign will finish one of these days either miserably or tragically.
The communist party is waiting for this opportunity to deliver their final desperate gestures, proclaim a general strike and try, in the light of provoked disarray, to institute their dictatorship and their inevitable reign of shame and horror, [...] as in Spain where the elections of the Fruente Popular ended up in a bloody catastrophe.
The same peril exists here.
French people of all opinions:
Have the courage to look the events that are being prepared in the face. This is the only way you will save your house, your land, your fortune large or small, your work, your freedom, your life.

A campaign of anti-semitism was started against Léon Blum, as well as a smear campaign against Roger Salenegro which claimed he had deserted during the first world war. In response to this campaign, Salenegro commited suicide.
The far-right parties also underwent a makeover, donning new names. Le Croix de Feu became the PSF (Parti Sociale français). A terrorist group was even founded, known as the CSAR (Comité Secret D'action Revolutionnaire), the Secret Comity of Revolutionary Action, who were well trained and had hundreds of hidden weapons stashes dotted around Paris. They were about 12000 men strong and backed by Mussolini, Hitler and Franco. Many rich members of the CSAR split off and created their own enterprises, the most famous being cosmetics company Loréal.
In 1938, Léon Blum decommissioned as Prime Minister, thus calling the end of the FP.

From the Art Gallery...

While the inspiration well has been somewhat dry lately in the art department, I usually manage to surprise myself every now and then by producing a half-competent piece of art. Arguably my best work is "Mona Lisa Overdrive: Redux", which is actually a modification of a previous work.

While I don't pretend to be a serious artist, this piece was slightly different to the others in the sense that it had a concrete meaning behind it. I had wanted to cut up a Renaissance painting into my own vision for quite some time, but had never been able to find a piece that gave me inspiration. For a while I struggled, until I came across perhaps the most famous portrait in the world: the Mona Lisa.
I wanted to give it a modern twist, but also something of a dystopian feel. I therefore picked out a tasty little Soviet gasmask and a generic pistol and got to work. It took me around two hours to complete. The painting (to me at least) shows the contrast between the Renaissance, I.E. the golden age of humanity, and the dystopian, 1984-esque world that we find ourselves in today. I am genuinely proud of this piece, and have not produced anything remotely near it's quality since.

Another piece that I kind of like is called "Shotgun Messiah":


This was incredibly simple to do, and the message is obvious. I wanted to play on the militarism of the fundamentalist right by putting a halo of Fat Men (the atom bombs dropped on Nagasaki and Hiroshima) over the President of the United States. While not complicated, I think the message is clear enough.

Like the above works of art? Lemme know! You can check out the rest of my work at http://rhy-himself.deviantart.com

I Think What God Meant to Say...

So, earlier on Shiv passed me this link detailing the recent child abuse and polygamy scandal going on in a small Church in Eldorado, Texas.
The story is pretty damn worrying, apparently a member of the Fundamental Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (FLDS for posterities sake) tipped off the police about the alleged child abuse going on there. The authorities then raided the compound and took the children into protective custody along with their mothers, many of who were married to the same man because the church is a part of the Mormon religion.
A little background: the FLDS is one of the largest sects of Mormon practitioners today, with around 10,000 members. It split from the mainstream Mormon organization (the LDS) when the LDS decided to denounce polygamous marriage, seeing as it's against state and federal laws in the United States. The church itself is run by a man named William E. Jessop, but before him it was run by Warren Jeffs, who had been on the run from the FBI before he was arrested in September of 2007 and found guilty for two counts of rape.

The raid was carried out after the police got a call from someone claiming to be a 16-year-old girl who had been sexually abused by members of the Church. Without further ado, the police raided the church only to discover that they could not find the person who placed the call. So where was the girl? Truth is one Rozita Swinton had placed the call and impersonated a 16 year old. She was later arrested for false reporting to the authorities. Nevertheless, the police and child-protection agencies searched the compound and concluded that the children "had been abused or were in danger of being abused in the future". The children are now in State custody until it is decided where they will go. The control of the Church has now been given back to the FLDS.

The Waco Siege of 1994 has now become synonymous with the concept of fundamentalist Christianity. I am of course talking about the infamous siege of the Branch Davidian compound in Waco, Texas that lasted for 51 days and ended in the compound catching fire, leaving around 80 dead. The first thing I thought after reading the source article above was that we could have very nearly seen another Waco.
The Waco siege was exceptionally badly planned, and one could even say it was rushed. But when you take a look at the Branch Davidian beliefs, it becomes evident that the whole siege could have been easily avoided.
Interestingly enough, David Koresh said it best himself during the siege in a recorded tape he sent out:

You guys could have arrested me when I was running down the path outside of the compound, when I was buying groceries... so why did you have to choose now?

The documentaries "Waco: A New Revelation" and "Waco, Rules of Engagement" explain that the Branch Davidians viewed the ATF siege as a sign of the "end times", as many of the things that they saw colluded to their scripture's descriptions of Armageddon. For them, the American government was viewed as the tyrannical kingdom of Babylon, who would strike against the righteous (I.E. the Branch Davidians). They would do this with chariots of fire, which were interpreted as the tanks used during the siege.

Anyways, I'm going off on a slight tangent here. I'm saying that had the authorities not better prepared for their raid of the Mormon church, it could have all gone horribly wrong. And this is what annoys me with Christianity today; the Bible is so loosely interpreted (usually deliberately), so that the various offshoots of the religion can point at any scripture they choose and say "this is the word of God, he's telling us to do this!", even if it means going out there and killing everyone with an automatic weapon. It also apparently doesn't matter if your interpretation of the bible contradicts every other sect out there. This makes it incredibly easy to start your own branch of Christianity.
For example:

“This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.”

John I, 5:14-15

This means that God is that rich uncle you know who's always trying to buy your love and affection. Ask and ye shall recieve. One positive side, is that it also makes things very easy if you want to piss off your average fundie who claims to know the Bible off by heart. Why not challenge their interpretation of the Bible with your own? As long as you come up with logical arguments to support your theory, what's stopping you?

Peace out ;P

More lyrical goodness.

Well, not actually all that good. Music I write to fuel the 24-hour disco in my head.

"The Sun Sets in the West"

Staring up at the sun
Coming closer to the big one
The winners know they're the best
Cuz the sun sets in the West

They try run, they try to hide
But they're with us for the whole ride, messiah
We eradicated all the rest
The sun sets in the West

And now there's noone left to shoot
We climbed the tree and picked the fruit
The generals hide in their nest
The sun sets in the West

We thought that we could overcome
The effects of the setting sun
We think that we have passed the test
And the sun sets in the West

"Children of the Sun"

We stand in the sun
Evolution doesn't affect everyone
And so I stood and watched
Countries go to war
When's it gonna end, I can't take it any more
It's all so sad to me

In the sun we are eternal
Burning in it's glow
While you go forth and plant your seed
We're gonna take it slow

Walk the roughly beaten track
Said the Kettle to the Pot "your soul is black"
Oh, and when does it end?
What is this I see?
Hot dog stands and Mickey D's
Oh, and where does it end?

In the sun we are eternal
Burning in it's glow
While you go forth and plant your seed
We're gonna take it heavy and slow
And in the sun we feel so needed
Generation of the One
And in Love we reign eternal
Just as long as we take it slow

Long lasting hypocrisy
Guy goes loco on a killing spree
Oh, and when will it end?
Shotgun blast reigns out loud
God bless this country, you should be proud
Oh please make it end!

In the sun we are eternal
Burning in it's glow
Whole you go forth and plant your seed
We're gonna take it heavy and slow
And in the sun we feel so needed
Generation of the One
And in Love we reign eternal
Just as long as we take it slow