I need some love.

I'm runnin' here
I'm runnin' there
I'm lookin' for a girl
'Cause there's nothin' I need
There's nothin' I want more
In the whole wide world

Well, I need it quick
And I need it now
Before I start to fade away
That's why I'm searchin'
That's why I'm lookin'
Each and ev'ry day

Oo, I need some love
I said I need some love!
Oo yes, I need some love
This feelin' I can't rise above
Yeah, yeah!

Well I been hustlin' here,
I been hustlin' there
I been searchin' for about a week
And I started feelin'
This strange sensation
My knees are startin' gettin' weak

Well I need what keeps
A young man alive,
I'm sayin' I need it now
I'm gonna get the message
Across to you
Someway, somehow

Oo, I need some love
I said I need some love!
Oo yes, I need some love
This feelin' I can't rise above
Oo, yeah yeah!

"Need some love" by Rush

At the moment, nothing better describes my current state of mind. I've had a very, very tough week; found out some difficult things (I won't go into them on here) about family. My current relationship situation has been sorted, in the sense that I am no longer confused. But that's not necessarily a good thing.
My emotions seem to be all over the place at the moment, I could be happy one minute and horribly down the next. While this may seem serious, I have reason to believe it's nothing more than an elevated sort of teenage angst; possible something to do with the fact that I'm reaching the end of puberty. Nevertheless, my current state of mind is becoming evident, as I have had several people come up to me more than once this week asking me what is wrong.
I've also been greatly disappointed by my peers; due to their adherence to amazingly clichéd stereotypes concerning a friendship between myself and a girl. I am disappointed that in this day and age, people are still supposed to adhere to the principle whereupon if you go out of your way to be nice to someone of the opposite sex, you are driven by sexual desire only. This is not the case, regardless of my feelings towards this female in particular.
Sometimes this world gets me down oh, so terribly. It seems my only escape is through listening to music; the optimistic lyrics remind me that somewhere, at some time, somebody was feeling optimistic enough to write these infectiously happy songs, and in a way it makes me feel somewhat better. Perhaps I'm just clinging to the hope that I can feel that damn happy one day, too.
I have a feeling that somehow things will work out for themselves, I have a sincere feeling of approaching finality. Before people start worrying, I am not, repeat NOT suicidal. Quite on the contrary. I'm simply waiting to get out of school so that I can take a more proactive stance in the direction of my life. I've still got so much life to life and I intend to live it to the fullest. Taking your own life is the easy way out, and I believe it's better to show people that you can make something out of yourself.
So for now I'll just sit in front of my computer, listen to Rush and write crap poetry.

A bientôt.

I'm a cynic, I'm a weirdo.

Well, I signed up for that "bloggers unite" thing the day before it was supposed to happen, then changed my mind at the last second.
For those of you not in the know, this "bloggers unite" was an event that took place on the 15th of May, where bloggers throughout the world blog in support of human rights.
While it all sounds fine and dandy, I ultimately decided against it. Why?
Well, in the words of Shiv; I'm a cynic. And that's not an insult.
First of all, I don't actually believe that blogging has the power to change anything politically. I think that compared to direct action, blogging is an act born out of apathy. Many people would rather blog than get out in the streets and protest; because they're less likely to be arrested, and they seem to have that "I don't want to cause trouble" mentality. But whatever. At the end of the day, people can do whatever they want, I'm not here to tell anyone what they should or shouldn't do politically.
I'm here to simply address the fact that yes; I'm a cynic. I'm proud of this, because it means I can see the world for what it really is: a garbage dump that we're continually adding to.

Ehn. I need a girlfriend.