Tuesday 18 December 2007

Questions and Answers

There's a camera on every street corner, observing each person and looking into their soul. The cameras know you better than you know yourself; they don't get distracted, tired, hungry or bored. They know that you live your life alone, they know that you're tired and desperate trying to make a living in a job you hate. The cameras have more power than all the governments combined; they are our God.
I could stand for hours on the street looking into that blank, glazed stare of the camera, waiting for it to blink. But it doesn't.
I know that I can see, hear and smell. I know that I can taste and touch, but am I aware of it? Do I actually exist? Is this proof of my existence? I can sense but I don't know how; each touch is, to me disembodied. It's like someone else is feeling for me. Half of the time I'm not even aware that I'm seeing something, it's just a random sequence of images appearing somewhere, somehow making me aware, making me able to recognize shapes, forms, faces. Do I know what it is that I'm seeing? Or am I just drifting? When I hear things do I actually know that I'm hearing them and interpreting those electrical signals into something that I can actually understand? Do I exist at all, or is this just part of some cosmic plan? And if I'm existing, do I even know if I'm existing? I think therefore I am. But how do I know what I'm thinking? How can I interpret those thoughts? How can I hear what I'm thinking yet not at the same time? Why us? There are thousands of species of animal on this planet but why are we the only ones who can make concrete monstrosities tower up from the ground? Is the human race existing or are we all just imagining it? Could it be that we're all just one single mass of thought expressing itself through different mediums, forever in conflict with itself, fighting to express itself in different forms? If I'm alone in a room, how can I be sure that the others are still there? Do they cease to exist? And if I exit a room do I cease to exist?
I speak to someone. They reply. Perhaps they perceive what I said differently, and give an entirely different reply. Maybe I interpret that reply in order to satisfy my curiosity. Maybe we're all talking random shit to each other, but all making up our own definitions of what we're saying. Maybe that's how communication works: we don't understand each other but we make ourselves believe that we do.
If I continue to exist (hypothetically speaking, we've still not figured out if we DO exist) will my past cease to exist? Will it never have happened? And is my future predefined? Can it be changed, or does I already know what choices I'm going to make, is my subconscious aware of how and when I'm going to make the choices that I make? Therefore does free will REALLY exist? Am I already aware of how my life will turn out? Maybe I just don't realize it yet.