Give me my women!

Before you jump down my throat telling me that the post title is "misogynistic", this post is meant for entertainment purposes only.
I recently saw this advert on the TV the other day for the new Axe/Lynx body spray '3'.



What a marketing ploy, eh people? Buy two deodorants and... wait for it... you'll combine them into ONE FUCKING DEODORANT! Holy fucking shit!
So, I bought the two deodorants and sprayed them on. Confident, I walked out into the street, expecting hordes of attractive women to fling themselves at me like dying fish. Did they?
Did they buggery. Axe, you bastards! I want my sense of commercial innocence back! Now I view all commercials with a cynical eye.
So what did I do? Well, I recently heard about a story involving a woman trying to sue Impulse body spray under grounds of false advertising, upon which they sent her a bouquet of flowers. Nice. So I wrote the following letter to Axe body spray:

Dear Sir/Madam (probably not Madam though),
I recently viewed an advertisement on the television for your new fragrance Axe '3'. The advert entails a young man putting on two bodysprays at once and being inondated by attractive women trying to get off with him.
I subsequently went out to buy my house. Doing this I spent all ten minutes of 'social time' my mother lets me spend out of the house per week, and was dissatisfied when I applied the deodorant in the way displayed in the commercial, only to find that women were not throwing themselves at my feet.
Where are the chicks?

Yours Sincerely,
A concerned customer

I decided not to send it. If Axe did decide to recompensate me, I doubt that it would be in women. Apparently shipping women across the globe for dissatisfied customers is illegal. Either that or they owe me a truckload of mail order brides.


=P