Ah, call centers... The enigma of the Human trappings. The different colours indicate different characters. Shouldn't be too hard to work out.
*ring...ring...ring*
Welcome to the Packard-Bell automated helpline!
*muttering* Shitshitshitshitshit...
In order to direct you to a help desk near you, please compose the five letters of your postcode.
Erm... Lessee... Three...Four... -
I'm sorry, I did not register a response. In order to direct you to a...
SHIT! You bastard thing!
...compose the five letters of your postcode.
Three...Four...Five...Zero...Zero...
Thank you. One moment please.
*Muzak version of "Singing in the Rain" pipes through the receiver.*
*humming along with the tune*
If you are currently experiencing problems with your computer or printer, please press 1.
If you would like to learn about our exciting new offers, press 2.
If you are inquiring about employment opportunities...
Erm... 1. There we go.
One moment please, while we connect you to a local operator who will assist you.
*music pipes back in*
*muttering* Finally!
*In thick foreign accent* Hello?
Hello?
Hello?
Yes, Hello -
Hello?
Can you hear me?
Please speak up, sir.
Can you hear me?!
Yes, sir. No need to shout. What appears to be then nature of your problem?
It's my computer. It-
Hello? Sir?
Yes, hello! My computer has stopped working.
Oh. Well, have you tried turning it on and off again?
Well, you see that's the problem, it won't turn on.
Is it plugged into the wall?
Erm... Yes.
I'll have to transfer you to our technical department, please stand by.
You mean this isn't the technical department?
*Muzak pipes back in*
Hello? Hello?! Shit!
Hello, this is Dave speaking. How may I help you?
Well, you see...
Hello? Sir?
Hello?
Yes, what is it?
My computer isn't working.
Have you tried turning it off and on again?
Well, I can't. It won't turn on.
Please ensure that the computer is plugged...
I have, for crying out loud! The bastard thing doesn't work!
Well, sir, there's no need for that abusive tone!
Listen, is there anyone you can send down?
It depends. Are you experiencing a D-10 error or a 1D-10T error?
Erm... I don't...
*sigh* alright, do you have the manual?
Erm, yeah, give me a second... Here it is.
Alright, now turn to page 10 and look up D-10 and 1D-10T.
Erm... Alright... D-1o: computer has not been turned on... and 1D-10T: computer has not been plugged in. No, it's neither of those, I already told you that.
Hello? Sir?
Yes, I'm here. It's neither of those errors.
Then I'm afraid I can't help you. Let me transfer you...
No, alright? I don't want to be sodding transferred, just get someone down here who can fix the fucking thing!
Sir, I don't have to submit myself to this kind of abuse, if you swear again I'll have to cut you off.
For fuck sake!-
Goodbye, sir. *click*
BASTARD! SODSPLIT! CU- oh, wait. It did need plugging in after all. Heh.
Have a fun weekend,
James
James
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