Hate mail only comes in August...

...or in this case, July.

Anyways, hate mail always makes me chuckle, especially when it's spewed forth from the uptight mind of a christian reverend. Yay. I recently received this gem from the Rev. Don Spitz-and-Swallows:

Most, if not all problems on the planet earth are from people like you, people who reject Jesus Christ. Our prisons are filled with people, like you, who reject Jesus Christ. Most, if not all; rapes, murders, robberies and thefts are committed by people, like you, who reject Jesus Christ. AIDS is mainly spread by people who reject Jesus Christ and have sex outside of marriage. Children AIDS get it from people who reject Jesus Christ.
I hope you will turn from your sins and receive Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior and escape the fires of eternal hell. Turning from your sins and giving your life to Jesus Christ is the only way you can escape the fires of hell and receive everlasting life. If you persist in your sins and continue to turn your back on Jesus Christ, you will be lost forever.
SAY THIS PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I am a sinner and am headed to eternal hell because of my sins. I believe you died on the cross to take away my sins and to take me to heaven. Jesus, I ask you now to come into my heart and take away my sins and give me eternal life.

Wee! How's that for christian understanding and humbleness. Well, first of all, Don, and I never got to tell you this; FUCK YOU. Secondly, if you were actually a christian, you'd forgive me. And thirdly, God's the only one who has the right to judge, so why don't you drink a nice tall glass of Shut-The-Fuck-Up. Seriously, you can buy it at Wal-Mart.

Now that we've got that little misunderstanding sorted out (and now that I finally stopped giggling), we can put it all behind us.

Go with God!

James