Hear ye, hear ye! Renaissance Fairs suck.

So I walk to school. To get to school from my house it usually takes me around ten minutes on foot. I have to walk through the town center to get there, and it usually takes me a good three minutes to go through it. Not today. Oh, no.
Béziers holds a three-day annual event each year called the "Caritas", which is basically a Medieval/Renaissance fair. By the way, I refuse (absolutely refuse) to write "Fair" in that kiddie, faux-nostalgia way, with the E at the end. Look in a goddamn dictionary, there is no such thing as a 'Faire'.
So anyways, I finally got out of school around six this evening looking to get home quickly so that I could put my feet up and get a few things done. I left my friends at the theatre and walked into the town center to see... oh, lawd... a goddamn Renaissance Fair set up right in the middle of the goddamn town.
The local barmaids were dressed up in that vaguely-provocative, slightly slutty, 100% tacky medieval reproduction dress, with their cleavage pouring out for the German tourists to drool over. Looking at the expressions of mild self-disgust and désespoir on their faces, I assume they were contractually obliged to dress as such. Either that or they'd just had some kid vomit all over them.
Then come the people who were there voluntarily. One thing you need to understand about people who voluntarily dress themselves up as asses for other people's amusement, is that in their real life they're usually very dull accountants. They may claim that they're doing it to preserve the town's cultural heritage, but in reality they're just trying to escape from their mundane everyday lives and hold off suicide for one more day. But at the end of the day, I hold them in the same regard as I do for people who celebrate halloween with the cheaply-made gimp costumes: they must die. If not to preserve the evolutionary characteristics of humanity, at least think of the fucking children.