Anyways, the Jesus phreaks have really gotten on my nerves this week, so let's count down the list of the five biggest douchebags of the week!
5. Barack Obama
While we all supposedly should love or hate Barack Obama for a plethora of different reasons, it's considered a sin to be indifferent about any of the Presidential candidates, even if you don't live in the USA. I was indifferent about the whole do until I saw this clip of Obama on the Ellen Degenerate-Viewing show:
Now I want Obama's blood. Not because he's black, not because he's a democrat, but simply because he willingly made an ass of himself on national television. I bet President Ahmadinnerjacket took a look at that video and wet himself with laughter. Congrats, Barack. You've just taken all credibility away from yourself.
4. Lars Ulrich
Metallica drummer Ulrich is well known for vehemently opposing peer-to-peer filesharing applications such as Napster. Or at least he was. Encouraged by Radiohead's release In Rainbows, which was released as a free download by the band themselves, Lars has proclaimed that Metallica may copy this idea sometime in the future. While some believe this is purely for "the fans", I myself think he's simply doing it to take Metallica out of the shadow. Hey, Lars! ST. Anger fucking sucked.
Lars Ulrich ready to devour your Reece's Feces
3. Patrick Swayze
Just hurry up and die. Dirty Dancing was not a film. No, but I don't want Swayze to die. He was alright in Donnie Darko. I just wish people would shut the fuck up about him.
Before Dirty Dancing, Swayze also starred in his feature debut: "The Wacky Molestation Adventure"
2.Robert Mugabe
Still refusing to release the results of the elections, Mugabe seems happier to sit back and watch his country fall apart. I smell a coup d'etat on the way.
Mugabe threatens to anally molest his opponents with his magic fist of DOOM
1.Osama Bin Laden (he's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!)
Asides from currently holding the record for the longest game of hide and seek, Osama Bin Laden has blown up a few buildings (anyone remember that?). Strangely enough, he also condemns any and all music. If that doesn't make him the biggest douchebag of the year, I don't know what does. Apparently he was invited to the Grammys in the early eighties, but turned it down as he and his pack of wolverines were fighting the evil Ruskies in Afghanistan, a country named after a shaggy dog (not played by Tim Allen).
Invisible butt secks!
While we all supposedly should love or hate Barack Obama for a plethora of different reasons, it's considered a sin to be indifferent about any of the Presidential candidates, even if you don't live in the USA. I was indifferent about the whole do until I saw this clip of Obama on the Ellen Degenerate-Viewing show:
Now I want Obama's blood. Not because he's black, not because he's a democrat, but simply because he willingly made an ass of himself on national television. I bet President Ahmadinnerjacket took a look at that video and wet himself with laughter. Congrats, Barack. You've just taken all credibility away from yourself.
4. Lars Ulrich
Metallica drummer Ulrich is well known for vehemently opposing peer-to-peer filesharing applications such as Napster. Or at least he was. Encouraged by Radiohead's release In Rainbows, which was released as a free download by the band themselves, Lars has proclaimed that Metallica may copy this idea sometime in the future. While some believe this is purely for "the fans", I myself think he's simply doing it to take Metallica out of the shadow. Hey, Lars! ST. Anger fucking sucked.
Lars Ulrich ready to devour your Reece's Feces
3. Patrick Swayze
Just hurry up and die. Dirty Dancing was not a film. No, but I don't want Swayze to die. He was alright in Donnie Darko. I just wish people would shut the fuck up about him.
Before Dirty Dancing, Swayze also starred in his feature debut: "The Wacky Molestation Adventure"2.Robert Mugabe
Still refusing to release the results of the elections, Mugabe seems happier to sit back and watch his country fall apart. I smell a coup d'etat on the way.
Mugabe threatens to anally molest his opponents with his magic fist of DOOM1.Osama Bin Laden (he's not the messiah, he's a very naughty boy!)
Asides from currently holding the record for the longest game of hide and seek, Osama Bin Laden has blown up a few buildings (anyone remember that?). Strangely enough, he also condemns any and all music. If that doesn't make him the biggest douchebag of the year, I don't know what does. Apparently he was invited to the Grammys in the early eighties, but turned it down as he and his pack of wolverines were fighting the evil Ruskies in Afghanistan, a country named after a shaggy dog (not played by Tim Allen).
Invisible butt secks!
2 comments:
yeah, the blowing up buildings thing was bad enough, but the condemning of music not only makes Osama Bin Laden a major douchebag, but quite possibly the World's Worst Living Human. at least GW enjoys a rousing Crystal Gale tune every now and again.
also, if Barack Obama is a douchebag, does that mean Hillary is the turd sandwich? or is McCain the turd sandwich and Clinton's just a different brand of douche? hummm... the deep thoughts i have at two in the morning...
McCain is indeed a turd sandwich. Then again, aren't all the candidates?
Post a Comment