Confessions of a Deadbeat

"Why don't you get off your ass and get a job?!". Isn't that how it always goes in the movies, where the rebellious teen gets afoul of their parents for some reason or another? Yeah, they say "Why don't you get a job" and the teen stands up defiantly and shouts "Yeah, well maybe I will!" and slams the door. Then they get a job just to prove their parents wrong, and many humorous anecdotal things happen.
Well, wake up Hollywood. It ain't like that. I've had many a people tell me to get a job, seeing as I complain about the lack of cash from time to time. Sure! I'll get up, get a job, get a girlfriend! Fuck, it'll be easy! Then you actually get up off your ass and go to do it only to find out that you've not got the time and that cute girl you were eyeing already has a boyfriend. Welcome to my world.
I've thought about getting a job. No, really I have. Here in Béziers, the only work that you can really get if you're a teen is bar work or waiter work. Either way it amounts to pretty much the same thing; you work your ass off for a slave wage serving self-righteous Americans. The smug, self satisfied lot that you have to smile at, all the while imagining what it would be like embedding an empty coke bottle in their skull. Then comes the time issues; you work a full day at school with teachers busting your ass only to get home, change your clothes and work for another five hours. See, I weighed up all these pros and cons. I could be earning money, be proud to be making a living etcetera etcetera. Then again, I'd be tired, overworked and underappreciated as an employee (aren't we all?). No, thanks. I'd rather spend my evenings sitting in front of this machine watching High Fidelity. I admit it, I'm a deadbeat. Getting a job holds no interest to me whatsoever.
So now you're probably assuming I have a pretty active social life that takes up all of my free time? Well, you'd be wrong there, too. My social life is deader than Nelson. My days consist of school, then coming back here and pouring out all of my negative thoughts into this little box, for all of you to read and snigger. A guy I know keeps asking me if I want to hit the town with him and some friends, but I turn him down. He doesn't really know that I can't stand him. I'm just like that; it's not that I'm afraid of hurting his feelings or anything, it's just that I can't be bothered with the hassle that telling someone who previously considered themselves as your friend is actually a shallow asshole who should fuck off. I'm just like that. If anyone tells you that they're afraid of hurting someone's feelings, it's usually bullshit. They just can't be bothered with all of that emotional bombardement that follows the breaking up of whatever relationship... Sure, it's selfish, sure it's shallow. I admit it. In the long run, these sorts of relationships break up any way. I mean come on, how many of your school-mates do YOU still keep in touch with?
But where was I? Oh, yeah. People also seem to have this idea in their head that it's unnatural for a teen my age to be dating. I'd kindly ask those people not to lump me in with a stereotype. Sure, there are girls that I'm interested in, there always will be. It's the same with anyone my age. I just don't ask them out because I don't have the time for that right now. And I don't mean time in a metaphysical sense here, I mean more in an emotional sense of the word. When you're in a relationship, it takes up so much of your goddamned time and space, until you're effectively smothered by the primordial urges that wrack all of us. Or at least from my viewpoint. Cynical, isn't it?

Sure, people sometimes accuse me of being overly cynical. I suppose that I see the world in a different way to most people, I somewhat exaggerate the realism of life and the world in general. Jokingly, I'd say I hate everyone and everything in this world, but I don't mean it. I just have an open disdain for modern culture in every single way. I don't like what it's become, where someone is judged on the artificial qualities in themselves, and where they're willing to change at the drop of a hat just to please a social clique. Did you know that most teens these days talk to more people online than they do in real life? Fuck, I used to be addicted to that shit. Then I realized that I was turning myself into a nervous wreck. Suddenly this urge comes along to meet real people, not just some anonymous guy behind the screen. So then I started to make real friends.